Remember Sammy Jankis...

For years I've flirted with the idea of maintaining a "serious" blog. This was a time before Facebook (stay calm, reader), when the sounds-like-a-scifi-planet Xanga was the only real challenger to MySpace for supreme domination of online attention. Four years later, my setting hasn't changed, but everything ranging from the Internet to my relationships most certainly have. I never wanted to be that person who kept a blog for the sole purpose of venting feelings. Adversely, I also didn't want to have one and only post random, meaningless stuff 'just because I could.' So, to bridge this gap I'll be doing a lot of both, and probably at the same time. You've been warned.

If you are unfamiliar with the film around which I'm theming this blog, no sweat. The movie in question is Christopher Nolan's Memento, released stateside at Sundance in 2001. Nolan has moved on to greater cinematic fame, directing such blockbusters as Batman Begins, The Prestige, 2008's The Dark Knight. It is his second directorial effort that has been in the upper echelon of my all-time favorite movie list for years. The film revolves around Leonard Shelby, a former insurance claims investigator with anterograde amnesia (short-term memory loss), which he suffered the night his wife was assaulted in their home. Unsympathetic to his mental state of being, Leonard prowls the streets seeking revenge on his wife's real killer. As if this vigilante's disability wasn't enough to interest the viewer, Nolan and his screenwriter brother Jonathan introduce a clever twist into the proceedings--the story is told backwards. Not out of order or jumbled, but in reverse. What your eyes first see is the end of the movie, and from then on this tale of redemption, vengeance, and deceit works its way backwards.

Memento is many things--impressive, manipulative, ingenious; it all depends on who you're talking to. However. the noir-ish settings and overlying twist only help the viewer connect to Leonard in such a unique way. You have no feelings for this man besides sympathy, no reason to care for him. But his dedication/obsession almost warrant the circumstances he unknowingly walks into.

Through it all, Leonard Shelby has had a profound effect on me over the years. Memento was one of the first movies I've ever watched that I immediately started again the minute the credits started rolling (after a short bathroom break, of course). The backwards concept is mind-blowing as it weaves in and out of the plot line, enhancing it exponentially over the course of the running length. Memento is also a movie I regularly go back and watch for the spiritual value it offers me, as strange as that sounds. Yep, it earns its R-rating, and the characters certainly do and say many things we'd label "un-Christian." But the shining light of the film is always Leonard. I love the character (as well as the actor), but I also pity him.

I never want to be a Leonard Shelby in my spiritual life--a man so desperate and narrow-minded that I miss the tremendous positives of the life I lead. Sure, Leonard is avenging his wife, something we'd all assume to be noble. But Leonard's mission and drive changes him into something far from noble. He gets mixed up with the wrong people, regularly acting out the principle of "the end justifies the means," and ignores any chances to get out. And due to his lack of short-term memory, this is no isolated incident. The film never gives the vibe of a tragedy until it's settled into your consciousness over time. I pray I never have that kind of an epiphany about my life. I don't want to be Leonard Shelby.

I hope that posting on this blog is a consistent thing, unlike my old Xanga. I have a feeling it will be; that banner of Leonard is a snapshot of the last few seconds of the film (or first, chronologically), where Leonard finds himself at a gigantic crossroad. To say any more is to spoil a masterpiece, so see the film. As for me, I made it to remind and focus me daily. Who knew a blog could be so impacting?